One Revelate, Two Revelate, Three...

For most of our lives, Franca and I have tried to stay in control of our life’s direction and not let it choose the path for us. Strangely enough, the hurdles to that endeavor are substantial. All those things I wrote about last week: Finding the right job. Having enough money. Choosing the right partner. Each has the ability to check the boxes of deep-rooted desires.

But then, we learn, there are many more boxes we need to be checking. The house. The body. The vacation. More to want, to need, or to have done. And over time, these unchecked boxes fill with discontent; they stare back at us in the mirror every day, growing bigger or shrinking smaller, or in some other way making us feel too limited, too empty of the surprise and enlightenment that comes from granting yourself the permission to grow and try new things, even if it proves to be, as it did with our bakery, unsustainable.

With failure comes revelation, and while starting over can be hard—call it pivoting, changing course, or hell, just coming up for a breath of fresh air, whatever word or phrase you want to use, we just call it getting the fuck back up again—it's not impossible. Even if doing so feels impossible. Even if it feels unreasonable, like some kind of unjustified sedition from the life to which you've grown accustomed.

For us, parents of three delightful children, business owners, a couple happily married with a circle of loving family and friends nearby, moving to Sicily certainly felt unreasonable and unjust and a lot like a revolution. But so was opening a bakery. So was quitting a career to become a writer, or working as a teacher, or serving in the military, and so has learning how to better prioritize and budget our time, money, health, values and relationships. None were necessary to living, but they have been essential to living better.

The Story of a House

I’m not saying everyone should quit their job or join the Army or become a teacher. Revolution is not a thing, it's a thought. Success is a stick of mythical dimensions—it's universally foreign and unique to all people—and as such not easily conveyed to others (I would though be happy to suggest how to better budget for all of those things).

In fact, we, ourselves, know very little about how we got where we are. It takes grit, for sure. And audacity and courage and trust, none of which can be boiled down into a language anyone else can and should understand. Unreasonable to one might feel extraordinary to another. Or as the words of the poet, Edwin Arlington Robinson, suggest:

We tell you, tapping on our brows,
The story as it should be,
As if the story of a house
Were told, or ever could be;

What is, we think, very relatable is the sentiment that at the core of a contented life is to never stop learning and always keep trying and when you fail because life takes a crap on your plans, you get the back up again. You work hard to walk your own path and do so with purpose, with intention and authenticity. Observing and learning as you go. Listening. Making tiny discoveries about yourself and the world, and always remaining open to the fresh idea that one of those small encounters might, just might, move you into some audacious, brilliant, new space. Like starting a new life on an island halfway around the world.

Our new tour business, Sicily Connect, provides that same kind of space, for people who want to experience traveling in the most authentic way possible, who value a slower, deeper, more meaningful immersion into the people, culture, and cuisine of the largest island in the Mediterranean. It’s for travelers who, in the words of Gilbert K. Chesterton, want to come to Sicily and see what they see, as opposed to a tourist who sees only what they came to see. It’s a more worthwhile, unhurried form of adventure that is more restful on the person, more respectful of the locals, kinder to the planet and easier on the pocket.

It has been our pleasure this past month to share and connect you with some of the things and experiences we love about Sicily and in curating small group tours for others wishing to see the real Sicily, away from the tourist traps. It's the Sicily you don't have to look for if you know where to look, you just have to step off the beaten path to find it. The food, the nature, the places the roads here have taken us and yes, also the donkey, are what make this island home of ours so special. We think others will find it special, too.

We both hope you'll follow along and if possible join us when your own time is right to undertake, if you haven't already, your own special revolution.