Cruddy American Lesson #One

And so it begins, Z’s American High School experience.

First lesson: Winning is Everything. And if you’re not good enough to win, you can always fetch water.

Captain_America_ShieldSo, she tried and failed to make the volleyball team. No big deal. She’d only arrived from Germany roughly 48 hours before the tryouts. I’m sure that had nothing to do with the time change of flying halfway around the world, her first trip of that kind, ever. But I’m being too soft, too liberal, or maybe it’s too progressive. I don’t really know. Either way, this is high school sports, after all. No one said she was ugly or stupid. She just didn’t exhibit the whatever-it-takes to make the team (as a consolation, she was offered the role of manager, delivered via email, second only to texting as the most insensitive and cowardly way to deliver bad news).

Furthermore, if you were to read the school’s athletic handbook you would see that the program’s focus is to complement the academic development of well-rounded students by helping to develop character, discipline, team work, and other life skills that are benefit to the student/athlete. Complement. Not build. This is not Habitat for Humanity. Our high schools are not constructing gyms and stadiums for the poor, the homeless, the un-gifted.

Athletics is not about charity, it’s about winning. Or if not winning, by God, it’s about fielding the best possible chance to win. An objective shaped by someone’s opinion. Over the course of a two-day, four-hour evaluation. With little regard for character, discipline, team work, and any other life skill they might achieve playing against their peers. No, sir, it comes down to this one characteristic: Can you crush them?

Forget the fact that there are would-be student athletes all over the world battling various personal setbacks, hardships, and challenges to even muster the nerve or find the wherewithal to attend tryouts, much less have a chance to compete. These young heroes are having to fight poverty, chronic illness, societal and self-doubt, and a host of other formidable, never-ending obstacles the sports world would rather not think existed. To be sure, over-coming adversity doesn’t fit evenly into an athletic mission statement. It doesn’t cry out: We’re number one.

But kids facing down difficulty or, as in the case of Z, pursuing a dream despite the challenges, are, if anything, exactly the kind of competitors who belong on a team. The kind that believe that the will to go out everyday of their lives and do their very best is much more important than being crowned champion. These are kids who know the difference between winning and playing to win. I’d take a squad-full of that attitude over talent any day, hands-down.

And so here we are, with Z not even one week in this country, feeling firsthand the spirited, albeit blunt, competitive drive that has on the one hand made this country strong (and at one time, well respected), but on the other seeks to separate our young people into the haves and have-nots. That sounds to me like the exact opposite of character development.

I know, too, I don’t have the answer. Not everyone can be on a team, I get that. But then again not everyone wants to. Those who do, should. Period, end of discussion. To offer anything less is saying to our future generations and the world at large, this is the true American experience: to be better than everyone else at everything everywhere.

As we’re seeing both inside and outside these proud, imperfect borders, that kind of thinking is simply unsustainable. It is time we think of character, discipline, and team work as something more than just a feel-good phrase in a handbook. It’s time they become something we practice.

Fix. It.

Not quite related to diabetes care, management, complaints of, progress in, fed up with, tears over, yada yada yada….but I think this relates to my recent post Hulk Smash, in which I reflected on my inability to fix things.

Annie Leonard’s project The Story of Stuff has always counted Franca and I as two of their biggest fans—we love the idea of Reduce, Reuse, Recycle and now this, her latest venture in responsible consumerism: Repair. Give a listen as she talk to the folks at and and maybe it will invigorate you, too, to think about how you fix something when it breaks BEFORE you buy it, or going when step further, how to make it yourself.

The Good Stuff — Episode 4: Fix it, don’t nix it!


Anything They Want to Be

A couple of years ago, I got into an email argument with one of my kids’ science teachers. Beyond the fact that I was on a two year low of feeling particularly let down by the conscience and caliber of science teachers at the school, who seemed incapable of anything other than sucking the fun out of the subject, I found the opinions and facts she presented in this particular case just too contradictory and one-sided, as, I’m sure, she found mine. In other words, scientific.

That’s because science, as with any empirical endeavor, such as teaching or parenting, where the goal is to promote an exchange of ideas or influence specific behavior, comes almost always with two sides to every finding. Often, it is the very nature of disagreement or pursuit of an alternative that fuels the creativity and passion for discovery. A healthy difference of opinion is a positive sign that progress is being made.

However, there are some places where the facts are just too substantial, the trends too obvious, the results simply all too clear, as we are reminded every March 8th, on International Women’s Day.

I wish I could stop here and say I have always been a champion of this holiday, as it is observed throughout much of the world, but sadly to say — and I’d wager I’m not alone in this, especially amongst American men — before today I don’t recall ever even having heard of it. That may be because I live a shelled life according to my own principles, but more likely it’s due to the fact that we don’t do enough in this country to give voice to what is the indisputable reality: Women are not treated equally.

Either way, I’m not going to try and write myself into this courageous and remarkable history. For one hundred years women have been saying and writing and witnessing it better than I could ever attain in one quiet morning (or a thousand) at my keyboard. What I can offer though, through hope and example, as a citizen, and as a son and a husband and father, is that one day my daughters and every woman will not have to argue this side anymore. Now, that would be progress.

Please, for a much more moving message on this, watch this short video starring Judi Dench and Daniel Craig which appeared on UK Guardian.