Archive | May 16, 2012

Hulk Smash

Yesterday I wrote about Franca and Lia and their strength and indomitable spirit to stare down the maw of diabetes no matter what, any day of the week, standing firm behind the motto: You want a fight? Bring it. For day 3 of Diabetes D-Blog Week the focus shifts to development, a topic for which I will turn the attention to me.

I am by no means a tinkerer. I have no patience for the preciseness it usually requires and would rather do just about anything than spend my time fine-tuning, adjusting, or otherwise engaged in the activity of repair. For me, playing the guitar (if that’s even what I should call it) is about as much experimentation as I care to do. Life, I believe, is to be lived, not calibrated. Besides, my Dad didn’t know how to fix shit and never taught me and so despite my collection of sockets, screwdrivers and power tools, I’d just as soon leave them in the packaging they came in. As it is for the most part, they’re just cluttering up the garage. If something is broken or out of tune, my preference, or should I say, my skills would lend to smash it and start over.

But if anything taking control of diabetes requires a good bit of routine and extra fine-tuning, let’s call it D-regulation (don’t say I never reach across the aisle). The things that can and should be governed are as confusing as they must sound to someone unfamiliar with diabetes. Total Daily Dose. Insulin to Carb Ratio. Correction Factor. Twenty-four hour basals. Insulin on Board. And so on and so forth. Each of these  elements weighs heavily on just how effective we are at managing Lia’s blood sugars. Changing the settings of just one of them could mean the difference between this (thereabouts):

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or this:

Engineering all those factors to obtain level blood sugars depends upon the precise application of tiny little tweaks, not smashing. You make one little change to just one of those elements (not six), wait a few days and see what happens. Didn’t get the results you wanted or expected? Make another little tweak, wait some more. It should feel like you’ve gone back in time and are trying to tune in a television station by ever so slightly adjusting the antennae rabbit years, not banging the crap out of the side of the box.

With diabetes I’ve got to change my attitude and techniques. Lia is ten now. Next year she wants to do cross country. Then her teen years are fast approaching. Smashing won’t work. Smashing will work against us. It’s time the Hulk in me developed a little more patience.

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